Holy Hangover Batman!

 

It is bound to happen at some point in your career that you will attend a company party where alcohol will be present. Assuming you are of legal drinking age you may even participate in the consumption of the alcohol in mention. I am not advocating getting drunk at a company function. Quite the opposite. It is extremely important that should you decide to have a drink you do not get drunk and belligerent and that you always remain in control of yourself. Company parties are not the time to see how much you can drink before you black out. However even the most responsible of us find that we occasionally wake up the day after the company party to the sound of our alarm clocks reminding us there are a few more days in the business week, our heads pounding, and bodies smelling like a stale liquor cabinet. Just as last minute requests from your boss are inevitable, so is a hangover. And just as a marathon airing of “Gossip Girl” on television is not an acceptable reason to call out for the day, neither is calling out sick from a hangover. One must push through.

But worry not our dear readers, in the name of research I have persevered through a grueling full day of work whilst being hung-over. And because I value research and you so much, I even stayed out extra late at the company party knowing the next morning I had an early morning meeting. After conducting several research experiments on the topic, I have concluded a few things that I think will help you if and when you are faced with a day at work and a wine headache.

 

  1. A shower is imperative. I know, I know, but if you skip the shower you can squeeze an extra 15-minutes of sleep into a morning when the thing you need the most is sleep. I get it. But trust me when I tell you that your deodorant and perfume will not cover the smell you have going on after that night out. Besides, taking a shower will help wake you up and at 4pm when you a really feeling last night, you will be thankful that you at least feel clean. Oh and while you are in the bathroom why not use a little extra mouthwash just to be safe.
  2. Egg sandwiches for breakfast are clutch. There is something about the combination of egg, roll, and grease that make this the perfect start to your morning. The number one thing you can do wrong when attempting a productive workday hung-over is skip breakfast. You will regret it about an hour into your shift. Breakfast will help kick start your body and help it focus on a full day ahead.
  3. Get rid of your hung-over face when you step into the office. Chances are your office will be filled with other people who are in a similar state as yourself, but there is no need to broadcast how you are feeling. You are in work. It is time to be professional. If you can trick your boss into thinking you aren’t feeling miserable, eventually later in the day you can trick yourself as well. Besides, there is nothing worse then being hung-over and pestered by the creepy guy you share a cubical with telling you how hung-over you look and asking if the sound of his voice is hurting your head.
  4. Similarly don’t be that person who tells everyone everything you drank the night before.
  5. Do the most intense work as soon as you get into the office. As the day goes on so will your motivation to be productive. Do the biggest projects early in your shift so that you can work on easier tasks when the only thing you brain can really think about is how much it wants you to put on those pants you have at home with the elastic waist band and sleep.
  6. Eat something real at lunch. Just like breakfast you cannot skip lunch. And while salads are great and I would usually advocate for you eating them, today is the exception, so go ahead and calorie splurge on those fries you really want.
  7. Do not even contemplate if you can sleep with your eyes open at your desk. You can’t. And your boss will walk over just as your head awkwardly falls on your chest and you droll down your chin.
  8. Get up and move a couple times that day. When you need to ask a co-worker a question you would normally just email, get up and go ask them. Keep your blood pumping.
  9. While you are up, get some water! Never let your water bottle on your desk go empty. Keep filling it up and drinking it down. Water will be your savior.
  10. Accept that time is going to move painfully slow that day at work. I don’t know how but the clock always knows that you are hung-over and ready to leave work. Just accept that your 8-hour day is going to feel like 16. And if you usually work 16-hours a day, I will pray extra for you. Don’t reflect on how many more hours you have left at work. Count how many hours you have finished. It will make you feel more accomplished that day.

 

I may never win a Nobel Prize for my dedicated work in the field of hangover studies, but I think that if you follow my advice you will find that you too can make it through the day marginally pain free. And if all else fails, remember that Shirley Temple’s look like a fancy drink to carry around at your next party, but cause no hangover effects the next day.

 

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